The light's Green
by SoldiersofPurgatory
Summary: All Cloud wanted was some peace and quiet... Then his cousins came. Massive Crack


Crack(s)(for this chapter); SOLDIER1stClass!Cloud, Lovingfamilyguy!Genesis, Desperate!Hyper!Tidus.

Ah, this is a little pet project of mine. I would like to hear what you guys out there have to say about this one, since it is _massive _crack. And me trying to be funny. There will be a bunch of Final Fantasy characters, in different ages and also Kingdom Hearts characters. The story is planned (and being planned) as you read this, _but_ I will finish it.

I would really appreciate comments on this, but please keep in mind that English is not my first language, I ahve not played VII(I use my friend as lexicon) and there will be mayor OOC through the story.

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If Cloud didn't know any better, he would say someone was knocking on his door. He groped after the forgotten alarm clock and groaned when it read 6:38. He had missed the briefing. Again. Sephiroth was going to be pissed.

Cloud groaned again as the knocking became more persistent. He dragged himself out of bed and looked for his shirt. Finding it, he held it up and cooked his head to the side. It looked clean enough.

He put it on as he went into his living room and took his sword before taking an apple from the kitchen.

The knocking had turned to banging, and Cloud ripped it open while biting into his apple.

"Cloud, man, do you know how long I have been standing here? It's cold outside!" The male on the other side whined. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Tidus. What are you doing here?" Cloud deadpanned as he munched on. Tidus shifted from foot to foot and peered over Clouds shoulder.

"Um, uh, you know my old man?" At Clouds nod, he continued; "Well, he kinda kicked me out. Told me to get a life you know?" Here Tidus squeezed his way past Cloud and into the apartment. "And so, he gave me a little gil and said that now that I have a girlfriend I didn't need to live at home anymore, so I could just move in with her or something. And I thought, well, why not? We're going steady and maybe we should move onto the next pace, but, but, did you know she has this really scary guardian? Have I told you about him? His name's Auron and he _hates_ me. I haven't done _anything_ against him!" Tidus took a really deep breath and dropped his overstuffed bag beside the couch in the living room.

"Anyway. Auron refused to let me stay and kicked me out so now I'm homeless and I was kinda wondering if I could live here?" Tidus clasped his hands together and half bowed as he waited for Clouds answer.

"Tidus. It's..." Cloud checked the time, "almost seven o'clock in the morning and I'm way late for work." Tidus practically jumped up.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I promise I won't get in your way, you won't even know I live here! I'll cook your food and clean! You won't hear a single sound from me!" He was practically selling himself.

"Whatever. I'm going to work. Do whatever you want." Cloud concluded and went to work.

Most often, Cloud didn't mind the mind numbing sensation of doing paperwork. Sephiroths punishment for missing the meeting had been extra paperwork and a quick rundown on the meeting that he knew would have taken too long for so little info. So they had a few recruits, and one of them looked real promising according to Angeal. What was his name again? Zax, Za... something. Fair anyway.

"Cloud." Cloud looked up to see Genesis in his doorway.

"What is it Genesis? I have to finish this mountain if I want to go home before midnight." Cloud waved his hand in the general direction of the chair that the rest of the papers were on. They hadn't fit on the table.

"I was wondering if you were doing something special tomorrow night? We're suppose to go see the movies and we can't leave Sora home all by himself." Ah. Sora. The kid from hell.

"What's that got to do with me?" Genesis actually looked a tad uncomfortable.

"Well... Tifa said you're pretty good with kids." Cloud were shaking his head before Genesis even finished the sentence.

"No. No way am I going to babysit your kid. He's what? Four? I'm not that good with kids, not the moronic ones anyway. And where the hell did Tifa get that idea..." Cloud shook his head again as he glared at a spot just beside Genesis head. His arm itched and he absently scratched it.

"Well. You're the only one I can think of that won't kill Sora as soon as he opens his mouth. And Sora isn't moronic! His priorities are just different from ours!" Cloud sighed.

"I still won't babysit your kid." Genesis frowned. Clouds entire arm itched like mad and it felt like something was crawling in his leg. He started bouncing it up and down to shake of the feeling.

"Well, I can offer you something in return." Genesis proposed. Clouds eyebrow went up.

"Like what?"

"The shots aren't lasting that long anymore, right?" Clouds scowl told Genesis all he needed to know. "I will get you two if you look after Sora for one night."

Cloud considered this. He really needed those shots.

"Four." Genesis shook his head.

"I won't be able to get that many. Three. That's my final offer." Cloud scowled. Genesis knew that he already had him.

"Fine. But I want one tomorrow before we go home. And the other two afterwards." Genesis nodded.

"That's acceptable. I knew I could count on you Cloud." Genesis looked disturbingly happy as he, dare Cloud say it, skipped along to his own office. The man was way too happy when he planned dates with his wife, who was also a childhood friend of Clouds, Tifa Lockheart. Or Tifa Raphsodos as she was called now.

How it clicked between those two, Cloud would never know. And he didn't want to know. Love complicated things, and Cloud liked his _normal and simple_ life very much, thank you. If you could say that needing the potential poisonous Mako to stay alive normal. Cloud didn't know how, but his first Mako injection had made him addicted, and now he couldn't live without the stuff.

Of course, he could only take it in moderate doses or he would die. But his body had adapted to the dose he had had for years, and now it demanded more. Not that he was going to tell the scientists that, they were excited enough as it was. Stupid scientists.

The paperwork yielded six thirty, and Cloud, a very happy man, took his sword and went on his way home. The bad thing with being a SOLDIER 1st Class was that you didn't get much action. Just a whole herd of paperwork and pissed of underlings.

When he opened his front door and tried to decide if he should order wutai food or some burgers, a delicious smell greeted him. Curious, he wandered into his kitchen and noted that the living room and hall were very clean. Cloud blinked at what he saw in the kitchen.

"Tidus. What are you doing here?" Cloud asked as he sat himself down on one of his kitchen chairs.

"You let me in this morning. And said that I could do whatever I wanted, so I moved into your spare bedroom." Tidus explained and put a plate in front of Cloud.

"I did?" Cloud asked. Tidus rolled his eyes.

"Well, yeah. And you have weird neighbors..." Tidus mumbled as he prepared his own food and sat down opposite Cloud. Cloud blinked and started eating. The food was much better than take out.

"So, I will be doing your cooking and cleaning, and in exchange I can stay here without paying for housing and rent? Is that alright?" Tidus asked and gave Cloud the puppy eyes. Cloud scowled.

"Why did you come to me? I must be your most non-social cousin ever." Tidus nodded with a smile.

"Yep. You are. You're also the only one with a good apartment and good economy." Tidus grinned. Cloud sighed.

"Why not someone else? Like Hart? Or Tribal?" Cloud asked again. He didn't see any way out of this. "And what about your dad? What's his name, Jecht?" Tidus scowled.

"Don't talk about my old man, he kicked me out. I told you that this morning! You have a lousy memory... And the Harts are already four in a small apartment, while I don't even wanna try living in Tribals apartment. I swear he has a new girl each time I see him." Tidus shook his head and Cloud wisely didn't point out that Tribal also chased guys, though not as frequently as girls.

"I'm not a morning person. And... did you say something about you having a girlfriend this morning?" Cloud asked. It sounded like it couldn't be true. Naïve Tidus, having a girlfriend?

"Hey! What's wrong with me having a girlfriend?" Tidus complained. "Everyone comments on that..." Cloud kept quiet during the rest of their meal, while Tidus chattered on. When they were finished, Tidus gathered the plates and washed them.

"So, can I stay here?" Tidus asked. Cloud sighed.

"Yeah. Fine. If you clean and cook and don't make a lot of noise, I guess it will be fine." Cloud were attacked by a hug and he tried in vain to get Tidus of.

"Thanks man! I really didn't want to end up as one of those homeless guys on the street!" Cloud scowled in annoyance.

"You can stay until you find your own place! Then I'll throw you out!" Cloud threatened. Tidus just nodded happily and skipped to the spare bedroom. Cloud shook his head.

Well, it seemed like Sora would have a companion at least.

FIN.

(for now)


End file.
